Tuesday 22 April 2014

Arnab Goswami as Chai-Coffee wala

Most of us who watch English News are familiar with the name of Arnab Goswami. The insane journo., that he is, he screams and never lets anyone else scream, goes berserk more often than not. I had this crazy thought, in which I imagined Arnab Goswami as a tea/coffee-seller in a train.

Here's how it would be.

Arnab Goswami selling Tea and coffee in a train: 

Arnab, the chai-coffee wala clad in the red checked blue-collared shirt with blue trousers is in coach number S-12 of the Hussain Sagar Express and shouting as usual in the NewsHour style, "CHAI, COFFEE, THE NATION AND THE WHOLE BOGIE NEEDS SOME CHAI AND COFFEE".

   A lady passenger sitting in a side-lower berth calls him, "Excuse me!!". He then asks her, "WITH YOUR PERMISSION PASSENGERS, MY FIRST SALE IS TO THE LADY IN THE SIDE LOWER BERTH, Excuse me madam, WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU WANT A CHAI, OR DO YOU WANT A COFFEE? THE NATION NEEDS AN ANSWER!!!".  Just then a young lad in the upper berth asks him for coffee and he quickly shouts back at him saying "NOT YOU YOUNG MAN, YOU CONTINUE LYING UP  THERE!! I WILL TAKE MONEY FROM THE LADY HERE AND GET BACK TO YOU...". He replies "lekin bhaiyya.." then Arnab shouts back "DON'T SHOUT LIKE A MANIAC, WAIT FOR YOUR TURN!!!!!!!!" He gets back to the lady who asks for two coffees. He replies "YOU ARE TELLING ME, THAT YOU WANT 2 COFFEES! that will be 10 bucks, THE WHOLE of S-12 DEMANDS 10 BUCKS". He is given a 50 Rupees note, and she asks him: "chhutte hai ky...." just then he gets mad and interrupts, "YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT ALL YOU CAN GIVE IS 50 RUPEES, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME CHANGE, S12 DEMANDS SOME CHANGE. YOU BELONG TO THE CHHUTTE GANG!!". Unable to withstand his madness, the lady SCREAMS at him like how some people on the NewsHour scream at him and he finally softens and says slowly, "Here please take your 40 Rupees madam". After that, he shouts out loudly(like he does at the end of his debate shows) "THAT IS ALL WE HAVE FROM S12 THIS morning, DO JOIN US IN S-13 in 10 MINUTES."

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